I’ll give them a 10 for choreography, and a 4 for the lyrics. Apparently there aren’t any Kendrick Lamars in North Korea. I never thought a two minute Youtube video could be such a roller coaster of emotion. I’m still not exactly sure what I just watched, but I need more of it. The fist bump sequence made me want to run through a brick wall (or iron curtain?). And then to follow that up with a little human wave action? Kim Jong Un is not fucking around this year.
Also, the man hanging out in the middle of it all is my new best friend. I have to respect how out of place he is. He probably bought that ticket on Stubhub, maybe got a deal because it was a single ticket, and thought nothing of it, until the usher brought him to the lion’s den of clapping. Then again, I shouldn’t get too attached to him, because he’s 100% dead by now. Kim doesn’t tolerate that lack of enthusiasm. If you sit there you have to be all in, or you’re coming out of that arena in a body bag. At least mix in some spirit fingers.
Before I saw this video, I was all in for a nuclear war, but now I’m a bit worried. Like if North Korea is putting this much effort into clapping, they’re probably pretty well organized on the military side of things.
This squad is the North Korean version of a March Madness bench mob, expect with less oppression and starvation than the NCAA.
I’m not gonna lie, the jumpsuits sort of do it for me. There’s something sexy about a girl wearing a full red winter jacket and snow pants inside. Snow pants are yoga pants with more functionality. Finally pants that keep you warm while still displaying your thicccness.
And lastly, if I can speak candidly in this safe space, this is not great press for the “all Asians look the same” stereotype. I’m not saying that they do, I don’t think that way. Everyone knows the only thing from Asia I generalize is Gau chicken. All I’m saying is if a blind man touched all of their faces, he would have a tough time telling them apart.