I came to this site after my girlfriend wouldn’t stop talking about it. Should I be concerned?


I noticed that you sometimes make spelling and grammatical mistakes in your posts. Is this done on purpose or are you just that stupid?

Both. I don’t proofread anything I write because I have better things to do such as trying not to fail out of college. I write most posts hungover in bed or during classes, so please don’t be a grammar Nazi, or a regular Nazi. Then again, I wonder if there are any good Nazis out there? Like a Charity Nazi, or a Compliment Nazi.

If I want to get in contact with the young prodigy who runs this site, what’s the best way to get in contact with the Mark Twain doppelganger?

Slide into my email: Tim@ThoughtsFromATwinBed.com

Does this site have any social media affiliates?

Wow, crazy that you asked. Yes. TFATB is on Instagram as, well, tfatb. Also like the page on Facebook because that’s where I post all of the articles.

Are you gay, or is my sexual insecurity just getting in the way of understanding the humor behind playing a sexually ambiguous character online for comedic purposes?


Do you offer any services that would make my mornings better?

What a coincidence. Actually yes. Sign up for my daily morning emails, that contain useful news to start your day, as well as incoherent rambling that I write right when I wake up.

I’m a big fan of your writing, and want to make sure everyone I see knows. Also I’m running low on fashionable t-shirts? Any ideas how to fix both those issues with one solution. 

Wow, it’s almost like I’m writing these questions myself. And to answer your question, yes. You can buy the official TFATB T-shirt here, for the criminally low price of $10.

What’s your biggest fear?

Starting a website to make fun of the rest of the internet, but then selling out and becoming the exact thing I used to satirize (I hate using the word thing, it’s lazy, but I couldn’t think of a strong synonym) . But then on the other hand, what if I’m not good enough to sell out at all, but I’m in too deep to do anything else? Then again, is “selling out” just a term made up by unsuccessful people? Maybe I just shouldn’t care what people think about me, but also my success is judged by how many people like me, so that’s difficult to do.

I’m also scared of mice.