Kanye and I use Twitter quite differently

Yeezy has resurfaced on Twitter, and my goodness that man is back on his bullshit. Behind DT45, Kanye tweets are probably the most volatile in the world, and by volatile, I mean they’re absolute gibberish. Granted, Ye’s tweets don’t put a country on the edge of a nuclear war, but don’t tell him that because he’ll strongly disagree.

Twitter has a variety of uses, and I’d say me and Mr. West are on completely different ends of the spectrum (not that spectrum, but maybe). For two people who publish stuff on the same app, it comes off as very different content. Example:

 

Clearly Yeezus and I have vastly different thoughts we find worthy of posting on the internet. But that doesn’t mean I can’t relate to him. We’re both artists. We both wild out. He exposed George Bush for not caring about black people on camera, I revealed that Weymouth John was a gay prostitute. We both got in a little bit of trouble. The only difference is, unlike The King of the South Shore, G-Dubs doesn’t have his mom to protect him anymore.

So I decided to take a look at some of Kanye’s recent tweets, and tried to relate to them the best I could:

If I’m not mistaken, pain and happiness are two dimensions. Actually they’re definitely not dimensions at all. Also that’s definitely not how you spell “dimensional”. And “taste, touch, and sound”? That’s not a love story that’s porn.

“This life. This is the greatest movie we will ever see.” Apparently Kanye has never seen Annie Hall. I don’t know about you, Yeezy, but if my life was a movie script, I don’t see any major studios optioning it anytime soon. That’s not making past the mail room at Warner Brothers. My life is at best a CW Sunday double feature. (I’m 10 years too young for that reference). Maybe a Lifetime movie, but that’s being generous.

By the looks of the grammar, I’m gonna go against you on this one, and say that it might not be a bad idea to invest in a publisher. Maybe let someone else write the book entirely.

Yeezus, I’m not here to call you a hypocrite, but for someone who doesn’t believe in the concept of enemies, you’ve used the term “hater” excessively in your music. Also “moving in love” sounds like a euphemism for masturbating.

Fuck that. If you don’t wake up and immediately scroll through every social media app while contemplating whether it’s worth it to even go outside today, I don’t want to associate with you.

Tell that to the bartender the next time my card gets declined.

Ye also ran by a couple product ideas:

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/985700665648394240

Kanye, do you work at REI?

He also has some tattoo ideas:

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/985680838061887488

Did Michael J Fox draw that by hand?

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/985696164619214848

I’m 90% sure Kanye West is designing his tattoos on Microsoft WordArt. It looks like he just played Russian Roulette with the font scroll bar on Word.

So I guess me and Yeezus are sort of different.

PS:

  1. Graduation
  2. The College Dropout
  3. Late Registration
  4. MBDTF
  5. Life of Pablo
  6. Yeezus
  7. 808’s
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