Opinion: This mall Easter Bunny wouldn’t have been assaulted if he was carry an AR-15

A woman in Mansfield, Ohio, was arrested on Saturday after police say she drunkenly made lewd comments to the Easter Bunny before taking a ride on the carousel.

According to the Mansfield News Journal, police said a 54-year-old woman was having her picture taken with the Easter Bunny while intoxicated at the Richland Carrousel Park when she allegedly made lewd comments at the celebrated, chocolate-loving bunny. She then rode the carousel.

Mansfield Police said that the woman was unsteady on her feet and slurred her speech, ABC11 reported. Other witnesses also allegedly told police they thought she was intoxicated.


I’m sorry, I thought this was America? The United States can’t claim to be a country of religious freedom, only to deny a citizen her basic right to blackout and verbally assault the Easter Bunny. The Pilgrims must be rolling in their graves. This is not the world they envisioned when they sailed over on the Titanic in 1492. And to think that they murdered all those Injuns for no reason.I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if this Easter Bunny was another Crisis Actor.

And how about the Easter Bunny being a snitch? Talk about a soft generation. The minute you dress up as any type of animal, you automatically give up your human rights. That’s the oath you take when you put on the Bunny Ears. The few, the proud, the mall Easter Bunnies.

On the other hand, maybe if the Easter Bunny was carrying an assault rifle, this wouldn’t have happened. You know the saying, “The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is an Easter Bunny with a gun”. The world is a scary place, and personally, I would just feel safer if grown men who dressed up as life size rabbits and played with little kids for a living carried deadly weapons. That’s what the Founding Fathers intended when they wrote the second amendment, right?

On an unrelated note, the perception of bunnies in our culture is completely messed up. Like when young, attractive girls dress up as bunnies, we called them sluts and whores, but when an old man does it and walks into a mall, all of a sudden we leave him alone with our kids and let him take pictures with them.

Also, do you think there’s any crossover between mall Santa’s and mall Easter Bunnies, or do you think they’re two completely different groups of people. Like do mall Santa’s pick up Bunny work in the offseason to stay fresh, or is there some type of union agreement separating the two?

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