Chill politician sets off tear gas so opposition can’t vote

(CNN)Opposition lawmakers set off tear gas canisters in Kosovo’s Parliament chamber on Wednesday in an attempt to prevent the ratification of a border agreement with neighboring Montenegro.

Video posted to social media showed lawmakers wiping their eyes and noses as they left the chamber in Kosovo’s capital, Pristina.

The tear gas was released by opposition party Levizja Vetvendosje, according to Avni Bytyçi, deputy chief of staff to Speaker Kadri Veseli. It was a tactic the party had used previously to prevent voting, Bytyçi said.

I’m not even sure where to start.

First off, this might be the most casual tear gassing I’ve ever seen. Toxic fumes are filling up the room, and not only is no one leaving, but they’re basking in the gas while making small talk. Like you know how when the fire alarm goes off, but you know it’s a drill, and you contemplate if it’s even worth it to leave your desk? That’s what these people are doing with fucking tear gas. That’s how you know this is a weekly occurrence.

You know your tear gas tolerance is too high when you’re completely emerged in it, and all that happens is you get an itchy nose. I’ve reacted more dramatically to a high pollen count. Every time I walk into a class and the room is a bit too hot or cold, I seriously consider dropping it. Is my education really worth that much discomfort?

I also love the guy who just throws on his gas masks in the same manner that a normal person would toss on a sweater because the room’s a bit chilly. He probably left for work in a rush this morning, his wife was like “honey don’t forget your gas mask.” He told her he didn’t need it, but she insisted he bring it just to be on the safe side. He probably felt stupid carrying it on the commute in like when you carry an umbrella on a nice day, then he actually had to use it. You can tell just by the way he’s walking, he’s thinking in the back of his head “Goddammit my wife was right.”

This has opened my eyes to the fact that I need to implement more tear gas into my day to day life. Then again, I would definitely abuse that privilege. It’s 10:15am, and I can already think of four different situations today where I would have released tear gas on someone. Someone sits at the same table as me at the library? Boom, tear gassed. You’re walking at slower than desired pace in front of me? Guess what sweetheart, tear gassed. You’re ordering in front of me at Chicken Lou’s and don’t already know your order before you walk in? Peekaboo bitch, tear gassed. Fuck it, I’ll tear gas myself once in a while just to stay on my toes.

So if you ever lose hope in the American political system, just remember that at least we aren’t gassing each other like we’re in a WW1 trench.

PS: Where, and what the fuck is Kosovo?

 

 

 

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