WOODBURN, Ind. (AP) — A Safe Haven Baby Box where mothers can drop off unwanted newborns anonymously with emergency help moments away is now available in northeastern Indiana.
The padded, climate-controlled container was dedicated Tuesday at the Woodburn Volunteer Fire Department about 15 miles east of Fort Wayne near the Ohio state line. It’s on an exterior wall of the fire station.
The Knights of Columbus of Indiana will pay for the first 100 baby boxes, which cost $1,500 to $2,000 each, said Monica Kelsey, a volunteer with the fire department who has been advocating for baby boxes in Indiana for several years.
Is there an age limit for these things? Because fuck these babies, next time I’m having a bad day, I’m hopping right in one of these bad boys and starting a new life. My leg will be hanging out and shit. I don’t care. Shelter is shelter. I’ll wait for the fire department to show up, they open up the box expecting some newborn and just see me like “surprise bitch, now let’s find me a new family”. Next time my mom yells at me to clean my room I’m packing some hot pockets and calling an Uber straight to one of these bastards.
It’s also wild that people aren’t down for abortions, but are chill with dropping off a baby like they’re returning a movie to Blockbuster. Yea that’s way more humane. And how about these things costing $2,000 each. $2,000 for a goddamn mailbox. That’s like four abortions, minimum. $2,000, and the best they could come up with was a box with a blanket inside. With that much money they could have just put the babies in a studio apartment in Manhattan (It would be prewar without an elevator, but still).
Amazon is dropping off packages with drones now, yet we’re still using garbage shoots for babies like it’s 1910. Let’s get Elon Musk involved and send these babies to space. It’s easier to drop off a baby than it is to drop off a passive aggressive note into the complaint box at work.
Also, after nine months of carrying a baby, how do you not think of a better escape strategy than dropping it off at a fire station? I could understand if one day a baby just came out of you, and you were like “oh shit where do I put this?”, but you had almost a full year to figure out how to get that thing off your plate. That’s just a classic case of procrastination.
Why even bother bringing it home from the hospital? That seems sort of fucked up. You’re literally in a place filled with hundreds of people who are professionally trained to take care of people, you check out, and then decide to drop it off at a fire station. Nothing against firefighters, but if I had to choose between a floor of nurses, and a couple guys playing Xbox waiting for a fire, I think I’d go with the RN’s. Like you can be the greatest firefighter in the world and not know how to change a diaper.
And how about the fact that they’re building 100 of these. How many babies are being abandoned a day that you need 100 of these in one county of Indiana? God forbid you have to drive a couple towns over to abandon a human.
Lastly, are orphanages even a thing anymore? I have never seen one in my life. Not even a sign or anything. Who’s in charge of the marketing for these places. Buy some Facebooks ads. Read an article on SEO. Where are they hiding these kids?