I’m calling BS on this list of tips to look smarter

So today I came across an article listing some tips about how one can look smarter. For me, this seemed useless, as I already give off a huge Rhodes Scholar vibe, but nevertheless, I gave it a read. I’m always looking to expand my horizons. I never stop learning. Anyway, I quickly realized that every tip is stupid, and also wrong. If I didn’t have such a positive outlook on life, and can-do mentality, it would have ruined my day. With that being said, I thought it would be a good idea to critique the article a little bit, and give my 2 cents on each tip.

Walk at the same speed as everybody else.

A study led by Boston University marketing professor Carey Morewedge found that if you walk faster — or slower — than the people around you, they might think you’re stupid.

I walk fast as shit. I break sound barriers on the way to class. I don’t even do it on purpose, but my dancer legs give me the type of stride the rivals a gazelle. I do admit, I think it gives me a huge advantage in life. Like how lucky am I that my legs can keep up with my brain? Legs feed the wolves. Everyone knows that. Well my legs feed the blog. They feed the family. They feed the fans. I’d be lost without them. So BU can chill out with this study saying that walking fast makes you look like a retard (their words, not mine). You know who else doesn’t walk at the same speed as others? Stephen Hawking. Ever heard of him?

Put on thick glasses.

Research suggests that if you’re wearing glasses, you’ll appear less attractive but more intelligent.

I like a lot of things thiccc. Glasses ain’t one of them. Glasses just scream beta male. I’m more of a spy goggle guy anyway. Glasses are for nerds. One of my greatest assets is my vision, and my ability to see things clearly, both physically and metaphorically. Also you have to be an absolute idiot to trade attractiveness for intelligence. Maybe I’m just spoiled, because I have so much of both, but attractiveness can take you so much further in life than intelligence. So I’ll pass on the glasses.

If you’re going to hold something, make it something other than a beer.

People who hold an alcoholic beverage are perceived to be less intelligent than those who do not

Sort of agree with this one, that’s why I drink Four Lokos. I think that holding a beer makes you look stupid, but it depends on what beer you’re holding. Are you holding an IPA? A local craft beer? Then yea. You look like an idiot. Are you holding a Natty Daddy? A Genesis Light? Then I actually think higher of you. You probably have a good head on your shoulders, as well as a great business mind. I respect the hell out of someone with the financial skills to realized how much economic sense it makes to drink piss beer. I bought two tall boy Natty Daddy’s for a grand total of $3 today. You tell me who’s smarter? Enjoy you’re $8 lager.

 Use a middle initial.

I really don’t see a correlation with this one. The article cited like John F. Kennedy as a big example. Uh, what’s he’s up to these days? Not trying to get assassinated. At least not yet.

Write simply.

Showing off your vocabulary has long been a go-to tactic for looking smart. But verbosity can backfire.

I’m building an empire on my writing style, so I’ll pass on the advice. I think I know what I’m doing. Also, stupidest advice ever to not use big words. Girls love big words. That’s a fact. You have to be an absolute ignoramus (see what I did there) to not use big words to impress people. I’m a walking thesaurus. When it comes to vocabulary, I’m basically Mother Goose.

Use graphs

Once again, not a nerd.

Dress smartly.

Depends how you define “dressing smartly”. Is dressing smartly wearing the same sweatshirt to class for a whole semester? Is it going out to bars wearing a Hawaiian shirts and random shirts you bought at a Goodwill store in Roxbury? Then yea. I dress smart. There is nothing I hate more than when people dress up for no reason.

Be funny

A solid sense of humor can be a sign of smarts.

I completely agree with this one. Just great insight here. The only thing is, I feel like a lot of people don’t get it. People like my professors. They don’t see my true intelligence, because they’re so caught up in my “in class performance” and “low test scores”. Maybe if they read my blogs and saw my true talent, they’d be cooler with me spending their entire class writing these articles. Class participation doesn’t bring in ad revenue. My finance professors should know that.

Be a leader

Am I a leader? I’m about to be when I hire my intern (applications are still open).


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s