After reading through a couple Donald Trump tweets, I had to ask myself, does the President of the United States read TFATB? I think he does. If he indeed does, I think he’s stealing my writing style. Like those tweets look like word for word excerpts from my site. The use of the parentheses. The staggered sentence structure. Everything about it screams TFATB. I’m honestly not sure how to feel about it. One on hand, I’m a bit humbled, as the leader of the free world and I share the same writing technique. On the other hand, I feel a little used. I’m out here in the trenches, grinding to get better everyday, fighting tooth and nail for every reader, and Donald comes out of nowhere and steals it all from me in a heartbeat. A genius businessman indeed. Kingpin recognize Kingpin.
I’m also a bit worred that he might be better at my writing than I am. Donald has a gift. Spend five minutes on his Twitter and it becomes pretty obvious. Seriously. Psycho Joe? Low IQ Crazy Mika? I couldn’t dream of thinking of nicknames like that. This guy has serious talent and he’s wasting it at the wrong job. Him calling Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas” is still my favorite political moment of all time. Sadly, he’s putting effort in all the wrong places. That’s why I think I need to hire him. That’s the next step in taking this website to the top. To get Donald on the Four Loko Fast Life. I don’t care what you think of him as a politician, this man would take my pageviews into orbit.
So Donald, if you’re reading this, which I assume you are, email over your resume and lets talk. Lets get the paperwork moving. Lets build an empire.
Also, sort of unrelated but completely related: Trump’s lowkey thiccc. Talk about being double cheeked. Haters will say he’s wearing a diaper, but with an ass like that, shitting yourself is considered art. I see you Donald. Strutting around with a thanksgiving turkey in your pants.