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Rock Street, San Francisco

Usually, I’m not a big hangover guy. I credit that to my inhumane pain tolerance, and my ability to wake up still drunk. The last 24 hours have been an exception. After spending the weekend and my life savings in NYC, I’m currently on the back end of a two day hangover, or potentially the front end of a terminal illness. Its too early to tell, and I’ve never claimed to be a doctor. Then again, I haven’t ruled out cancer, or leprosy. Maybe both. With a long road ahead of me, I don’t want anyone to go through what I have endured (a stomach ache and a minor dry mouth). Because of that, I have compiled a list of my hangover remedies. Keep me in your prayers.

Drink enough that you wake up still drunk

Can’t get hungover if you’re still drunk. Gotta beat the hangover at its own game. There’s no better feeling than waking up feeling absolutely great, only to stand up and realize that your BAC is on par with your GPA. The buzz will wear off somewhat quickly, and the hangover will set in soon, so you have to use this time wisely. While still intoxicated in the morning, here are some fun things I like to do:

  • Order domino’s only to realize that its 8am and they won’t be open for another 3 hours.
  • Drink the mystery cup that will inevitably be next to your bed
  • Facetime people you’re really not close enough with to facetime
  • Apologize for the texts sent several hours earlier

Sit in the shower for several hours

This honestly might be my personal favorite. I’m not sure about the science behind it, but sitting under a stream of hot water for an extended amount of time is my favorite thing to do. I never understood people who are into cold showers. Not trying to do a polar plunge every Saturday morning. Also, you sweat a ton when you take a hot shower, so that covers your exercise for the day.

Order a large 3 topping pizza from domino’s and then complain when you somehow feel worse after eating it.

You could probably guess that this might be from personal experience. Its probably my biggest vice. Every Sunday since I can remember, I wake up with zero food in my apartment, and debate whether to do my food shopping for the week now, or just order a large Domino’s pizza, and see how long it will last me. I think we all know which one wins. Going to stop and shop on a Sunday while hungover is a borderline war crime. I can’t think of anything worse than doing the Bataan Death March up and down those isles. Much rather enjoy my scenic walk through Roxbury on my way to my friends at Dom’s. (This section isn’t sponsored by Domino’s, but it should be. If any Domino’s executives are reading this, you know how to contact me, I should be in your system.)

Kill yourself

Pretty self explanatory and honestly probably the easiest. Killing yourself solves all your problems, including hangovers. I really don’t see any downsides to this one.

Post Author: timmccue191

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