Breaking News: I’m back and music festivals still stink

Knock knock. Who’s there? Its your worst nightmare. Daddy’s home. Here comes the bad man. The blogger of your dreams is back. All last week, people were lost without my blog. Guys were calling to make sure I didn’t pull a Dave Chappelle, girls were throwing pebbles at my windows playing music from a stereo. I’m sorry. I apologize to my loyal readers. But I’m back. Comeback Szn.

The truth is I went rogue for finals week. Everyone knows I’m a scholar, an academic weapon if you will. Since I already spend way too much time writing these blogs during regular classes, I though it would be a pretty good idea to take a break and do that whole get a college education to get a good job even though I’m still banking on becoming a mix between Louis CK and John Steinbeck ( I set reasonable goals). So yea, whats up ladies, I’m responsible.

Finals week was brutal, spending all hours of the night studying (doing the math to figure out the lowest grades I could get and still do well). Anyway, finals week came and went like a one night stand and I crushed it (didn’t fail). But I’m back and stronger than ever. While I was gone, I missed some blog worthy news. The biggest one was the Fyre Music festival being a complete distaster. Since you guys derserve to hear my take on this, here’s a quick version of it:

The Fyre Music Festival sucked more than most music festivals

The disastrous Bahamas extravaganza lacked adequate food, water, shelter and medical care, creating a “dangerous and panicked situation among attendees” – who plunked down between $1,200 to $100,000 for tickets, according to the class action suit filed Sunday in California federal court.

“Festival-goers survived on bare rations, little more than bread and a slice of cheese, and tried to escape the elements in the only shelters provided by defendants: small clusters of ‘FEMA tents,’ exposed on a sand bar, that were soaked and battered by wind rain,” the suit says.

A little rule of thumb I have is if anyone ever sees me at a music festival, I kindly asked that someone execute me on the spot. I don’t like music festivals or anyone who attends them. If I wanted to listen to shitty live music while surrounded by people tripping on drugs, I’d hang out at the Downtown Crossing T Station. This music festival looked worse than usual, as people were literally starving and were living in tents.

This would be my worst nightmare. The two things I hate most in this world are camping and being hungry. I hate camping. Camping is not a vacation its called being homeless. I could not imagine this. Then again, I’m glad this happened to these people. If you spend $100,000 on a music festival you deserve to starve. That’s just Darwinism. Survival of the fittest. Adapt or die.

Also not really related but kind of related: I still am not completely sure what Coachella is. I see pictures of people there and I just get confused. Why are they in a desert? Why are they wearing funny hats? I think there’s a Ferris Wheel involved? Idk.


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